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Thursday, March 5, 2015


Hello all, from Artsieladie!

I am not a person who does anything half way, half heartedly, or with the attitude, 'that's good enough'. So, when I fall in Love, the same is applicable. I don't fall in Love easily. It's difficult for me to allow myself to Trust another to Love them. To me falling in Love is a very serious state to allow oneself to enter into and I do so with reverence. When I do enter into this state, I do so with heart, mind, soul, and body. So if the person I fall in Love with treats my Love like it means nothing, like it's insignificant, like I'm insignificant, I will be devastated emotionally and so devastated, my very being will be in complete chaos. 

When you're a creative person, falling in Love with someone and the Loving of them can be tremendously inspirational and motivational and so much so, if the relationship goes sour, the creative person can be not only devastated emotionally as is the usual but also affect the deep inner core of their creative place, making the loss of the Love doubly devastating.

Perhaps this is why so many people Love only "with conditions", Love only with a part of themselves. "One can only be hurt as deeply as they Love and care." Therefore, if one Loves deeply, they risk being hurt deeply. If one Loves with limitations, they'll only be hurt as far as, as deep as, their 'limited love' allows for.

Love is the most beautiful thing in the world when revered and respected most highly, but when not, Love can be devastating. 
Art/poem by Artsieladie
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Inspired by a man I thought to be true,
In so many ways, I in fact still do,
Declared his Profound Love to, for me,
Inspired I was to the utmost degree,
So deeply rooted in my inner core,
No one has ever Inspired me more.
Though I seek ways to purge my pain,
I’m left still with tears pouring like rain.

He persuaded me he was safe to Love
And so to my heart he won the key of,
Only to find his Love wasn't quite as he
Had painted and made it appear to be,
Which then he left shattered my heart,
Destroying the passion inspiring my art.

When I to, for him my Love confessed,
And thankful to God for being so blessed,
He acknowledged to me he already knew,
That he felt for me the exact same too.
When I spoke to him straight from my heart,
How inspiring he was for my words and art,
He replied I Inspired him as well to write
With my Love, pious, honest and full of Light.

Instead of as friends, just leaving us be,
He began showing feelings much more for me.
With my trust broken so often before,
I was scared and afraid to open the door
That would lead me to in Love with him fall
But his actions convinced me to answer the call.
I remember so well fearing the trend,
If things went wrong, would I lose my friend?
Now my fears have been brought to fruition.
I should have listened to my Intuition.
Instead I chose to in him believe
That he wouldn't betray me or deceive.

Now against me, he holds a grudge,
With stubborn pride, he will not budge.
Accuses me that my Love is wrong,
Denying the fact he misled me along.
Meanwhile from others, sympathy he seeks
As against and about me he talks and speaks.
Yet, with me he remains silent and hidden.
Any hope to resolve, he has strictly forbidden.
With me he cannot seem to communicate.
It appears his Love has turned to hate.

But it's because of the guilt he feels inside,
He holds on tightly to protect his ego fed pride.
So, he stays away, keeps wide his distance,
Keeps following the path of least resistance,
While, the cloud he remains, cowering under,
Blocking his Light and stealing his thunder,
Making his Candle of Love no longer shine bright,
The cloud of guilt ever dimming his Light.
It appears there is nothing I can do or say,
As my Candleholder's Flame keeps fading away.

Yet, what's between him and freedom's gate,
Are the Components of Love that do await,
But his manly pride he refuses to abate,
Disallowing me to wipe clean his slate.
For it is only I who is holding the key
To free him of the wrong he did against me,
But as a prisoner of guilt he cannot see
The key is my Love that will set him free.
Because 'my' Love IS Profound and Surreal,
I wish not a cloud of guilt to from him steal
All the beauty that resides within him yet
That so touched my heart, I cannot forget.
But I can't his wall of pride, penetrate
And it takes two to communicate.
Even though my Love only will set him free,
He talks only with others against, about me.

Inspired by a man who I thought was honest and real,
Who I thought had a heart and wouldn't mine steal,
Only to break it and then lay on me the blame
Trying to free himself from feeling the shame.
Hiding behind a wall which pride has built
Is not the way to wipe or erase one's guilt.
One must face, to acknowledge, address,
The one they've wronged, against transgressed.

But the really sad thing I must speak of,
Is what he fears most is facing my Love
Because he knows mine is Surreal and True,
To which he knows not how to answer to
For his own heart as he has of spoken
Hasn't been shattered, ever broken.
Making me wonder if he's ever invested.
Has his heart, his Love, ever been tested?

If he knew truly what Love's about,
He would know then, there is no doubt,
It's only Love that can mend and heal,
From one who's Love is True and Real,
Not from those who have no stake,
No heart invested at risk to break.

Only when Love's tested does one know,
How true it is, how strong the flow.
When Love's well rooted, it deeply then grows,
Forth coming's the nectar from Love's Sweet Rose.
This Rose must be nurtured by the Love of two,
Uniting Gardens of Grace with Love that's True.

Yes, I was Inspired by a beautiful man
Of whom I became his number one fan,
But my history repeats, shows me again,
Of which I write now with regret in pen,
I'm never ever quite good enough
For a man I choose so deeply to Love.
The old saying, "Old habits are hard to break",
Is especially true when there is at stake,
A heart that's filled, overflowing with Love,
But yet rejected by who it's for, to, and of.

Perhaps this time the lesson I’ve learned,
Love not ever again to again be burned.
Perhaps this time the vow to myself I will keep,
Make no man special to Love, nor over to weep.
Perhaps this time I’ll leave my heart in disrepair,
Then for a new Love it couldn’t prepare.
Perhaps with my heart left in a gazillion pieces,
I can coast safely along until my life thus ceases.
Inspiration I won't any longer be wanting or needing,
Since my heart can't create when it's broken and bleeding.
Inspired I was; now Inspired I'm not,
Passion's now cold where it once was hot.

Art/Design/Poem by Artsieladie /Artsieladie Sharon Donnelly 
©2015-03-03 19:19:00 (EST) All rights reserved.
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Graphics by Artsieladie and various free to use sources on the ‘Net ~ Dove by Pewter7:
Featured on my website: 

"When one gives to another the key to their heart,
Only to discover the other is just playing pretend,
This shatters one Loving, shredding their inner part,
Leaving them devastated of measure without end."
~ Quotes by Artsieladie
Art by Artsieladie

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